Special or Spoiled?

I often wonder what people think of our family when we are out in public and Josephine has one of her wonderful meltdowns. Do they think, “What a spoiled brat” or “Why aren’t those parents doing anything” or “Poor parents! Maybe they need a break”? Most of the time, by the look on their faces, it’s 1 or 2. In fact, I think 3 is a near impossibility!

And I don’t mind the stares or the opinions or the sympathies. I take it all in stride. Just part of being a parent of a special needs kid.

But when Josephine gets so out of control that our own favorite therapist is at his wits end during a session (last night’s session, in fact), I have to question myself and ask, “What can I DO?” and “What am I NOT doing?”.

When Josephine wakes up from a nap, or from a good night’s sleep for that matter, she is upset, cranky and many times, unruly and inconsolable. Yesterday was no different. This afternoon was no different.

Often I try to calm her down by cuddling, offering her a drink or snack, giving her the favorite stuffed fish or perhaps the absolute best of the best, her socks. Forget the cuddling – AIN’T HAPPENIN’! She shoves the drink/snack and fish back in my face. And just when I think the socks are the answer, more hair comes out…more spit to clean up…more screams…more biting (not me, thankfully)…more frustrations. So I let her cry and freak until she calms down, which generally takes at least 1 hour. I don’t know what else to do.

I know part of her frustration and anger comes out of not being able to tell me what she wants or needs. I can only hope as she gets older, these meltdowns decrease. But I have to live in today and figure out how to handle the now.

So, is it spoiling or survival? Call it what you will. I call it my life.

One thought on “Special or Spoiled?

  1. It is definitely NOT spoiling! It is doing the best that you can in each and every situation that arises! Sometimes (most of the time) all that you CAN do is let them run the course and tire themselves out and THEN do the cuddleing and loving. She is truely suffering during these times as much as you are! Just love her, as you are doing!!! My heart is with you!!!

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